Deepening Intimacy with Life

Intimacy is gratifying and joyful. . .
Every encounter is satisfying, or pregnant with the potential for deeper insight and spiritual growth.

Gary Zukav and Linda Francis

Intimacy – what an evocative word!

What does it conjure for you?

I’m naturally drawn to the idea of intimacy, with all its depth, nuance and mystery and yet, like the rest of us, can easily get caught in its tangled shadows.

The good news is that according to Astrologers, today’s new moon is supporting us in our relationships, and one goes on to say that it is the new moon of intimacy!

Of-course, we’re talking about more than just romantic relationships here – although Venus and Mars continue in their cosmic dance with each other and the moon. Alan Clay suggests that something more is being offered.

In his recent 9-minute video [1], he describes his perspective – that three of the outer planets, Salacia, Quaoar and Varuna, because of their ongoing aspects to the moon, are taking us on a journey – all about intimacy with others and the world.

During the quiet dark of the moon phase, I ask myself and Source what to write about in my next reflection. There is so much going on, the possibilities are endless!

I’ve noticed that the phrasing of the question has subtly changed over time – an example of ego dissolution perhaps, or of ego, choosing and allowing herself to be in service to something greater?

Whatever the explanation, over the months I have gradually shifted from a somewhat anxious sense of duty that went something like…

“I have set this intention and commitment to write twice monthly – now what am I going to write about?”

to asking

“How can I best be of service to the whole?”

Then, I wait, and as I wait, themes come to me through the things I watch, read and notice.

Then other ideas or remembrances are sparked, so the writing process becomes this lively, inspired weaving. Having set out, insights appear and so I am led – following breadcrumbs – or starlight!

My hope is that something of the essence of this process comes through as you read. That by my sharing you will gain greater awareness of and insight into your process.

This is very Salacia, the dwarf planet of higher-love consciousness!

She’s all about process and in my natal chart, she sits, conjunct to my South Node (representing all that I have brought into this life with me, my comfort zone and therefore all that I’m moving away from for my growth) in the 8^th House of the deep and meaningful (spirituality, mysteries and the like), in Capricorn (all about duty, tradition, being conscientious and strong work ethic).

Let’s explore. . .

As a social worker, I was trained to reflect-in-action – to notice everything in the moment and adapt accordingly.

In my writing little ah-ha! moments flash like minnows catching the sunlight as they dart through the water, encouraging me to follow their path until they disappear.

Perhaps these minnows could be called insights-in-action!

Hmm, I like that phrase!

Ah! Here’s another! Salacia, in her marriage to Neptune became goddess of the shallow waters, where the sunlight sparkles, as well as goddess of the depths.

Reflection-in-action has that light, sparkly quality to it.

Reflection-on-action has greater depth.

Reflection-on-action happens after the event.

I remember hearing the story of a wise indigenous grandmother speaking with her young grandson after allowing him to experience the full consequences of some action or another.

She asked him

“How do you feel?”

And then, once he’d discerned his physical state and feelings she asked,

“So next time – what will you do?”

I love the wisdom contained in this story.

The grandmother didn’t rescue the child, from potentially being physically hurt (although I’m sure she had appropriate limits!), from the consequences of his actions or from his feelings (sensory and emotional). She encouraged him to become intimate with the process of his actions from beginning to end and then to discern what, if any changes he’d like to make next time.

We’ll all recognise this style of reflection, it’s when we ask ourselves what have I learned from this experience? What did I do well? and what would I do differently next time or how might I create a better outcome?

Looking a little below the surface – and changing my metaphors, I’ve just spotted the thread of intimacy woven through everything I’ve just written!

Do you see it too?

Perhaps greater intimacy with life is a reward for the work of reflection-on-action.

The grandmother expressed such wonderful intimacy with life and in knowing how to teach her grandson in the way that he needed to learn.

In my process, I can see how I’m trusting more – both in Source and myself. I’m softening into the question, “How can I best be of service to the whole?” And allowing new possibilities to emerge.

And as I honour the promptings by acting on them, the invitation to co-create with Source opens.

Co-creation is an intimate act to be sure!

Do you feel any resonance with these words?

Yes?

Ask yourself

What am I being invited to co-create?

In what ways am I deepening my intimacy with life?

In 2023, I studied with Phoebe Leona, storyteller, embodiment guide, and leader.

Before sharing anything personal, she would ask Source “is this necessary?” As I write, each time a personal anecdote comes to mind or I write the word “I” or “my” for what feels like the umpteenth time, I find myself silently asking the same question. Thank you, Phoebe, for your teaching.

In response to my enquiry today, this quote from Richard Rudd popped onto my screen.

“Love requires we expose everything about ourselves “

Don’t worry – I’m not about to disgorge all my deepest insecurities or post naked photos!

But I am going to share some of the insights on intimacy that I have found helpful.

For me, each quote is profound in itself, so please take some time to ponder – to reflect-on the words, noticing what resonates or repels. And ask yourself.

Regarding intimacy with life:

What have I learned from my experience?

What do I do well?

In what ways can I deepen intimacy to create a better outcome?

OK – here are the quotes!

“Intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in love and trust.

Lack of intimacy is the measure of the energy that leaves your energy system in fear and doubt. . .

Intimacy is gratifying and joyful. You feel open to your life and to others . . . you care about them and feel connected to them. . .

You appreciate them and you appreciate that they are in your life.

Gary Zukav and Linda Francis[3]

Love, Trust, Appreciation . . .

“The opposite of hate is connection.”

Sally Kohn[4]

Love, Trust, Appreciation, Connection . . .

Anne Wilson Schaef [5], speaking from her Cherokee perspective and acknowledging that she has heard the same story from indigenous folk the world over, says

“It is easy to see how a people who saw all creation as a whole would value and even seek out differences.

They saw all people as family and believed, in great humility, that none of us had the whole picture of reality and that we needed one another to put the puzzle together better to understand the whole.”

Love, Trust, Appreciation, Connection, Needing One Another . . .

And Angeles Arrien [6] says

. . . for intimacy to flourish, five qualities must be consistently present: honesty, trust, openness, respect and vulnerability.

Love, Trust, Appreciation, Connection, Needing One Another, Honesty, Openness, Respect, Vulnerability.

As we greet the first new moon of 2025, perhaps consider the outer planets that are supporting us, seek to live in a way that is gratifying and joyful and set your intention to deepen intimacy with life.

With love.

Be happy, be safe, be well,

Annie