Remember Right-Relationship

Wallet? Phone? Check.

Water? Yes, water.

Nothing left under the bed? No, I’ve checked twice!

We groan in unison as we shoulder our packs, automatically feeling out the straps and pulling them tight. As if choreographed, we settle the weight onto our backs and readjust our stance. Our bodies remember what to do.

Deep breath.

Ready?

Yes.

Ultreia my friend – onward!

I wait outside breathing in cool air, listening to birdsong and the stirrings of the town. Three days ago, I had no idea that I would be making this pilgrimage, but from somewhere deep in my belly, an urgent voice had blurted out “can I come?”

And graciously, my friend had agreed.

Now, as she says her farewells to the frail, elderly lady that she first met some thirty years ago, I reflect upon the four generations living in this elegant stone house. Just a few hours earlier their family home had briefly become our home too. Welcomed by a grandson, now a father himself, the family tradition of offering hospitality to those pilgrims who want to walk without making reservations was being continued.

We stepped out, reassured that hospitality, service and blessing – the best of the old ways are being remembered and honoured, here at least.

And now, I’m back at my desk, fulfilling an ongoing intention I made earlier this year.

Somehow it was easier when the days were short and grey! The idea of entering liminal space and honouring the three-day dark of the moon seemed such a good idea at the time! Now, on a glorious, sunny spring day, my commitment is being tested!

Remember – says Sophia, my inner mature voice, day one represents the death phase. Enter the liminal, it will soon be followed by rebirth.

What needs to be released to make room for new growth?

What intention will you plant in this beautifully prepared ground?

What future do you want to co-create?

I had walked for three days, in a reversal of the usual route. I had been calling in opportunities – and this was one that I couldn’t miss.

I needed to step out of my ordinary life, to shed everything but the essentials. I needed to follow way markers left by those who had walked before me. I needed to remember who I am by consistently walking against the flow for a while. I needed to immerse myself in nature and notice what it and my body were telling me.

And suddenly I knew the path I was walking was not my path.

Over those three short days, my companion also found clarity. We parted company as firm friends, honouring each other’s authenticity and independence and somehow launching one another into the next chapter of life.

I’m noticing the sacred pattern of three.

Just three days before I left to walk, I had emerged from another three-day life-death-rebirth experience, a fresh and creative expression of Easter revivified from the traditions of the first five centuries. [i]

Whilst a beautiful, soulful retreat, it was not entirely comfortable!

How wonderful!

Surely being able to face the discomfort in our lives, rather than run from or deny it is a sign that we are ready to grow.

And what genuine life-death-rebirth experience is going to be entirely comfortable?

I picked up a set of water colours for the first time in decades, and following prompts allowed a series of visual expressions to appear through me.

On the first day, the belittling accusations from my inner critics were so powerful that, in times gone by, I would have thrown down the paint brush and given up. This time, when their condemnation didn’t stop me, it turned outward, wanting to project its venom towards the retreat leaders, somehow to blame them for my discomfort!

Change was afoot, and with it, those inner critics were willing to try any tactic to keep me “safe”!

Thankfully, I’m practiced enough to recognise those voices without acting on them. Instead, my inner, mature aspect, Sophia, usually wins them over with kind words. She thanked them for protecting me all these years and invited them to grow with me. I value their vigilance, but not when it diminishes me.

Embracing all these parts, I persevered.

By the third day the image created looked more like a tangled jungle than the beautiful garden we’d been invited to depict! But just a couple of steps away, a golden vista opened before me. Emotionally, I felt as if I had been clawing my way through knotty undergrowth and now, with eyes accustomed to the gloom, all I could make out was a golden glow. Blinking, trying to focus, I wondered what this new landscape might hold.

At about the mid-point of my three-day walk, we passed a skyward-staring character who reminded me of the Miraestels – The Stargazers who bob about in the harbour in Barcelona. Like them, this character invited la contemplación de las estrellas – contemplation of the stars [ii]. Unlike them, he was carved from dark wood and firmly rooted in the earth.

Following his upward gaze, I remembered how astrology has been described as “a map of potentialities”. With the current aspects being variously described as “uncomfortable bedfellows”, an “unstable picture” and “a time of entrenched views and tension that must go somewhere”, I found it hard to see the potential!

But . . . Ah! This could explain some of the intensity I’ve been feeling.

Are you feeling it too?

Before I could articulate it, my body knew there was tension that needed release.

No wonder I needed to walk! How wonderful to have the opportunity to engage in the tradition of offering a blessing to others on the path!

And again, how wonderful to have another opportunity to look at any discomfort we’re feeling!

Another opportunity to take a step towards new growth.

Now I see that the opportunities I’d been calling in were leading to both inner and outer journeys!

Let’s join the stargazer to see what wisdom we might glean from the skies.

Venus and Saturn are continuing their conjunction. As I mentioned in my last contemplation, Venus is all about relationships and Saturn, that interesting father-figure, shamanic character, talks to us about responsibilities and boundaries and offers a gateway into more transcendent realms.

According to astrologer Pam Gregory our relationships could be tested with this conjunction; those with a firm footing can be consolidated and those without may split.

It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Of-course achieving “consolidation” might require so much grappling that it feels like an intense walk through a tangled jungle! And a split – that could be one way to release the build-up of tension.

We also have Haumea, dwarf planet and Hawaiian creation Goddess conjunct with Black-Moon-Lilith, in a challenging aspect to Pluto, God of the underworld and of transformation. These three are all familiar with the life-death-rebirth cycle. Whilst Pluto highlights power issues and is perhaps more associated with the death phase, Haumea speaks of regeneration and rebirth.

And Black-Moon-Lilith.

Rather than a celestial body, Black-Moon-Lilith is the point in the sky where the moon’s orbit is at its furthest from the earth. When there, the moon is at its darkest so astrological interpretations focus on the oft hidden instinctual and primordial aspects of our natures.

Mythologically, in prehistoric cultures, Lilith was honoured as a Goddess and holder of the great round of life-death and rebirth. Images showed her with bird wings and talon feet, surrounded by owls and other animals. Later, she was forced to flee to uninhabited places, where her association with undomesticated animals and the earth continued. [iii]

During this era, Lilith represented feminine wisdom in all its wildness and freedom. Refusing to be subdued, suppressed or repressed, Lilith embodied the fullness of her authentic self and if necessary, choose solitude over submission. Acutely aware of any power imbalance, she insisted on equity, freedom, mutuality and respect in her relationships.

As the patriarchy rose, Lilith’s power, passion and sacred sexuality was seen as a threat and she’s been demonised, feared and misrepresented ever since, especially by those who wish to keep our wild feminine aspects suppressed.

And so, here in the sky is Lilith, collaborating with Haumea, Venus and Saturn, and being challenged by Pluto.

They are all encouraging us to grow.

Lilith is encouraging us to remember what it is to be in truly mutual and respectful, authentic relationship with one another and with our world.

As we remember, Venus and Saturn are encouraging us to grow through the strengthening or release of our relationships and to balance them with our responsibilities.

Growth of course requires change and change always follows that familiar cycle of life-death-rebirth. Pluto is challenging us to do the interior work needed. He’s there to accompany us through the underworld, death part of the journey, in preparation for a regenerative meeting with Haumea whose speciality is rebirth and rejuvenation.

They are all encouraging us to remember the best of the old ways, of how to be in right-relationship, with ourselves, with one another, with our world.

What changes are you being asked to make at this time?

What does right-relationship mean for you, and what steps might you take to achieve it?

Ultreia y Suseia my friend – Onward with Joy!

Be happy, be safe, be well

Annie