pale yellow narcissus in long grass

“Intimacy is trusting that the Universe will provide what we need, when we need it and in the manner most appropriate to each one of us”

Gary Zukav & Linda Frances

Photo: Annie Sempill

Spring is truly living up to its unpredictable nature here on the Galician coast! From my window, I’m watching the daily drama playing out in the skies above the bay – brief moments of sunshine, soon shrouded in cloud and drizzle then overwhelmed by thunderstorms and torrential rain, and back to small breakthroughs with blue sky.  

My inner climate has been unpredictable too – a reflection of the outer weather perhaps! Not only has the sheer volume of rain kept me indoors, but I’ve been confined by a persistent foot condition.

I mention this now, because I’d like to share how this limitation on my outer movement has enabled me to receive precious gifts from my inner landscape.

It’s been the perfect “wound” to encourage me to ask some significant psycho-spiritual questions, to perform a searching moral inventory (again!), to learn what is crying out to be healed and/or released before I take my next step forwards.  

I’m learning diligence, persistence – perhaps devotion to this essential part of my spiritual journey, and I’m enjoying the exploration and the weaving together of a variety of perspectives, all of which contribute to a rich tableau of understanding.

footprints in the sand

One thread – in Louise Hay’s thoughts on the mental causes for physical illness and the metaphysical way to overcome them – feet “represent our understanding of ourselves, of life, of others”.

How wonderful then to develop and bring to life the Befriending Our Dragons series during this confinement!

The series is all about understanding ourselves, others and life – especially in recognising the coping mechanisms we developed as children and the roles they continue to play in our lives, until we are ready to face our greatest fears and claim our authenticity.

Great thanks to the fellow explorers who have shared the Befriending Our Dragons gatherings. Their presence has encouraged me to keep going – and I hope my perseverance and insights have been of benefit to them – and will be to others in the future.

Befriending Our Dragons is still in its infant iteration – but it has the will to live and potential to be repeated, reshaped and expanded. More to come, as these developments take place.

Since the last new moon, I have daily, been praying the reconciliation prayer I shared in the last update on 9th February. I had added a line to Jack Kornfield’s original prayer, and shortly after sending that update, felt the need to add another line!

It is these two lines that have been working on me.

May all parts within ourselves be reconciled.

~~~~

May we be reconciled with the Cosmos.

If you wish, you may re-read the prayer in Update 22- here

Which lines are calling to your heart?

Crescent new moon in deep blue sky

And perhaps join me with a small circle as we return to the prayer for reconciliation in the New Moon Gatherings on 10th March. Click here to go to the webpage where you can reserve your place.

Continuing the theme, on March 20th you’re invited to join me for an Equinox Prayer gathering. During this hour of contemplation and sharing, we’ll consider how our lives may be out of balance and consider what needs to be done to restore proper harmony.

There will be more on this soon, but if you wish, you may reserve your place – here.

(Image: Rawpixel)

Returning to Louise Hay – she also says that foot conditions speak of the fear of the future and not stepping into life.

Hmm! There’s some truth in this!

Creating Befriending Our Dragons has provided me with the perfect opportunity to face my fears, and to reframe them with new (to me) perspectives. By taking an honest look at the way that I might be being stubborn, arrogant or self-depreciating, greedy or self-destructive, impatient or acting the victim, I believe that I have come closer to understanding my core wound.

Identifying and embracing this wound, not only allows me to see how it has impacted my life but allows it to be transformed into a Sacred Wound – and as such “act as a portal to the discovery of my Soul’s purpose and destiny” (Bill Plotkin).

How wonderful! This is what I’ve been searching for all these years!

Now, whilst the revelation of my Soul’s purpose might carry terror and awe, it would give clarity, direction, and in its implementation, immense joy and satisfaction. Knowing that I’m doing what I’m here to do would at last fulfil the existential crisis that has been my life!

It feels as if this would ease any lingering fear of stepping into the future!

Facing the fear of moving forward also challenges me not only to return to the mantra “live like the river flows”, but to replace it with

be the river”!

That sounds like an intimate relationship with – what name to choose? Great Spirit, Source, The Universe, The Holy One, God-consciousness, Christos. . . How reassuring then that as Gary Zukav and Linda Frances say;

“Intimacy is trusting that the Universe will provide what we need, when we need it and in the manner most appropriate to each one of us”

One of the ways that I am receiving what I need is through my developing interest in Astrology. I know! Here we go again!

The more I test the water on this, the more I’m enjoying the bigger picture it is offering.

I still notice my hesitance in sharing anything about it – despite stepping out in February’s Full Moon Feature with the interview I recorded with Alan Clay!

“Welcome hesitance! You’ve kept me safe (and small) so many times. You’ve saved me from humiliation, shame, ridicule, and quite possibly death! You’re part of my Enneagram 5 makeup, you’re part of the “wounded” left foot thing! You’re an expression of my compliant child/conformist part.

I’d be delighted for you to continue to protect me from real dangers, but I don’t want to be kept small!

I’ve listened and considered your warning and I am choosing to continue to share an astrological perspective, because it has been helpful to me, and, I hope, may be helpful to others.”

OK – here we go . . .

Astrologically, in my natal chart, Chiron is in my 10th House, in Pisces and it is being transited by Saturn.

I know!

As a dear friend said to me – “you’ve lost me, although I understand each of the words on their own!”

Let me share a basic interpretation of that sentence so that you’ll see how this understanding has supported me over the last few months.

Firstly, Pisces – Pisces is thought to represent the feet. (As a side note, I know 2 other people who also have foot injuries right now!)

Chiron – represents our Core Wound and through working with and accepting our pain, supports us to transmute it into a Sacred Wound, for our growth and to discover our purpose while we’re here on earth.

The 10th House, represents career or profession, social status and social life.

Saturn is the planet of responsibility and limitation, supporting us to be diligent. Saturn, being the outermost planet that can be seen with the naked eye supports us to bridge the seen and unseen realities and move between the two.

So – Saturn is placing limitations, to enable me to dig deep and take responsibility for transmuting my core wound (seen reality) into a sacred wound (unseen reality), which is expressing itself through my foot, in my house of career or profession.

This limitation is giving me a wonderful opportunity to thoroughly do the wound work/healing work that I need to do, before stepping forward in my “career”.

The dynamic symbolism has really helped me not to give up or slip into despair or a sense of hopelessness!

Not to say it’s all been easy! Being grounded at the point that I decided to guide pilgrims on long distance walking retreats as a “career” has been challenging!

However, we grow through challenges, and I never signed up for easy!

Slowing down, encouraging self-care and exploring the profound depths of woundedness have resulted in psycho-spiritual insights that would just not have been possible if I’d been striding out, exploring the footpaths of Galicia instead!

I know that Saturn will pass – and with it, the intensity of this period of my life. I am grateful for the challenge and the opportunity to understand myself and my process more deeply.

And in sharing, I hope to support you on your journey towards authenticity, finding purpose, meaning and soul satisfaction.

In three weeks, I’ll be physically stepping out with a delightful circle of pilgrims for the Navigating the Mysteries Spring Camino

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